Which language should you learn?

Want to program in expressive and powerful language: Python
Need to create web site: PHP
You want to be a part of programming «rock stars»: Ruby
Really need to learn how to code: C
Get depressed: SQL
Lose one chromosome: Microsoft Visual Basic
Find constant mediocre but well-paid job: Java
Same, but with a list of abbreviations: C #
For magic, forgotten childhood feeling of getting rid of megalomania: Objective C
If your keyboard is messed up: BrainFuck
If you want to get paid per lines of code: Fortran
If you do not trust the compiler to multiply two numbers: Assembler
If you have an amazing brain to memorize two thousand keywords — PL/1

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